Have you ever left a home where you lived many years not knowing when you would see it again? Have you ever said goodbye to a pet? These experiences are very vivid in my memory. The smells, colors, textures, and feelings can easily be brought to mind. And they are much more intense than the same experiences without the knowledge that there might not be a next time.
When I may be losing something I have had for a long time it feels like I am seeing it for the first time. These moments are intense because I open myself fully to the experience instead of ignoring the details and taking them for granted. The feeling of loss makes me more afraid to miss a detail than to experience it fully. Whereas on a normal day, it is scarier to experience fully than to be on auto-pilot.
Being fully open to an experience is also called mindful awareness or just mindfulness. It is the state we strive for when we meditate – mindfulness towards our breath.
I find just a drop of loss increases my mindfulness dramatically. If I imagine I am breathing for the last time I suddenly am aware of nuances of my breath I was not aware of before. I am not imagining I am dying, just that my breath is stopping soon and I will continue without breathing. This simple exercise never fails to shift me into a mindful state and it can help you to do so as well. Try it out and let me know what you think.
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